If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of low self-worth, you’re not alone. Many people find it challenging to see their own value, especially when negative self-talk takes over. Building self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, but it also doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By taking small, intentional steps, you can start to rebuild your confidence and sense of worth.
1. Acknowledge Small Accomplishments
Start by celebrating the small things you achieve each day, no matter how minor they may seem. Maybe you finished a task on your list or reached out to a friend. Maybe you made your family a meal or managed to get through a really tough day. Acknowledging small moments of success helps reinforce the belief that you are capable and valuable. These small wins add up and create a foundation of self-esteem over time. And if you struggle to identify your accomplishments, consider asking a trusted other what they see, as we tend not to see our own steps forward.
2. Build Self-Esteem Through Daily Affirmations
Affirmations are simple yet powerful statements that reinforce positive beliefs. I know they can seem silly and ineffectual, but when repeated regularly, they can help reshape the way you see yourself. Try starting with an affirmation like, “I am worthy of compassion and kindness.” If positivity feels too far out of your comfort zone when you’re starting out, you can aim for something a bit more neutral, such as “I can change the way I talk to myself,” or “Just because I feel unworthy, doesn’t mean it’s true”. Find words that resonate with you, and say them daily. Affirmations can help interrupt negative self-talk and replace it with encouraging messages.
3. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Perfectionism can often stand in the way of self-esteem. When we expect ourselves to do everything flawlessly, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Instead, focus on the progress you’re making, even if it feels small. By celebrating each step forward, you allow yourself to grow without the pressure of perfection. Progress is a sign of resilience, not a demand for perfection.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
The people around us play a big role in how we view ourselves. Spending time with people who are kind, compassionate, and supportive can help reinforce positive beliefs about yourself. When others treat you with respect, it’s easier to extend that same respect to yourself. Seek out relationships where you feel accepted and uplifted, and remember that you deserve to be around people who see your worth.
5. Challenge Negative Self-Talk to Build Self-Esteem
Negative self-talk can feel automatic, but you can learn to challenge and reframe it. When you notice a critical thought, start with curiosity. Why are you having this thought? Where did you learn to talk to yourself in this way? Once you’ve given yourself some time to consider the context in which your thoughts were shaped, then you can evaluate the thought itself.
My two favorite questions for evaluating thoughts include: Is my thought accurate? and Is it helpful? If you answer “no” to either of these questions, it’s an indication that your thought needs some modification. For instance, the thought “I’m not good enough” is neither accurate nor helpful. We can challenge this negative thought in a variety of ways, including:
I may not be perfect, but I am doing my best.
I am learning to accept myself as I am, flaws and all.
My worth isn’t defined by what I do or achieve.
6. Reflect on Your Strengths
Take time to recognize and reflect on your strengths. What are you good at? What have you overcome? Reflecting on these qualities can remind you of your resilience, creativity, kindness, or whatever it is that makes you unique. It may also help to jot these qualities down somewhere, such as a journal or electronic document, as this leaves you with a tangible resource you can look back on whenever you need a reminder of your strengths. Reminding yourself of these positive aspects of yourself can slowly help you build your sense of worth.
7. Boost Self-Esteem Through Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. When you’re feeling low, remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect and to have moments of struggle. Self-compassion allows you to accept yourself just as you are, which is essential for building lasting self-esteem. Remember, you don’t have to do everything perfectly to be worthy of kindness.
8. Take One Small Step Toward a Goal Each Day
Set one small goal each day that helps you move forward. This might be as simple as sending an email, going for a walk, or reading a few pages of a book. Taking action, however small, can help you feel productive and competent. As you work toward goals, you build confidence and trust in your ability to handle life’s challenges.
9. Celebrate Your Efforts, However Small
Every effort you make toward building self-esteem is worth celebrating. Whether it’s practicing an affirmation, acknowledging a strength, or challenging a negative thought, give yourself credit. Self-esteem is built through these small, steady actions, and celebrating them reinforces your worth and the progress you’re making.
Remember, Self-Esteem Grows Through Small Acts of Self-Kindness
Building self-esteem is a gradual journey. Each of these small actions adds up over time, helping you reshape the way you see yourself. Be patient, kind, and compassionate toward yourself as you go. Self-worth isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about recognizing your inherent value and treating yourself with respect.
Ready to explore more ways to rebuild self-esteem and manage feelings of overwhelm? Grab the free Survival Mode: Self Evaluation and Guide at Survival Mode | Everything But Crazy. This guide is designed to help you understand and improve your self-worth, one small step at a time.
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Dana Basu, PsyD is a licensed clinical psychologist at EverGROW therapy and founder of Everything But Crazy, an online resource for highly sensitive people with emotional wounds. She provides individual therapy for adults in California, while her workbooks and online resources are accessible worldwide.